Friday, January 1, 2016

Reflections on 2015 and Resolving to Love 2016 as well as Myself

I feel as if I should be writing something inspirational; a sort of pep talk for myself.

I realize that the New Year is an arbitrary date picked even as the earth continues spinning on its axis and it pursues its long orbit of the sun, but the day still rings with significance.  My ears have been ringing with well wishes and my Facebook feed is flooded with resolutions and good intentions.

Looking back on 2015, the year had its ups and downs.  My oldest children took more steps away from me and into the great wide world.  The quiet still surprises me.

My daughter will be starting her only little family in just a few weeks.  How is that even remotely possible?  My head is still spinning.

Career wise, I had some true delights this year, being honored to participate in the Chez Fab shows as well as the first Cru$sade show at the Spanish Moon in October.  

I enjoyed my trips out to the local art markets, despite far too many rain outs.  My holiday markets certainly ended on a positive upswing.  

I am feeling more confident in my work and more willing to self-identify as an artist.

I set goals for 2015, some of which I achieved.  I continued to trudge through my Spanish tutorials which I began in 2014.  I despair of ever actually being able to speak Spanish as I am more likely to substitute French words for the correct Spanish ones.

I have managed to maintain my blog, which I also began in 2014 so, this far, I did well.

I didn't meet my goals of exercising more often and eating more healthily so I guess they go back on the list for 2016.

I'm never certain where to post my blogs, my poetry, or my art.  On my business Facebook page or on my personal Facebook page?  I am my business and everything I post usually circles back to that in one way or another.  I suppose I will continue posting haphazardly on both.  Le sigh.

My one, brand new, fresh resolution is to learn calligraphy.  When I joined the Albright Players, back in 2014, I intended to learn but never did.  I didn't make it all the way to Faire season but I renewed my ambitions again in 2015.  

I made it through  most of Faire season this time but have finally accepted that I cannot shoehorn my love for the Renaissance fair and my work as an artist into the same frantic six week holiday season.  

Still, I think I owe it to the retired Millicent Sparrow, retired Village scribe, to actually learn calligraphy.  So, serious resolve face in place.

I pleasantly surprised myself this year by renewed interest in writing poetry.  Since I haven't picked up that particular pursuit in 25 years, I was delighted at how quickly it seemed to come back.  I cannot claim that I am any better at it now than I was then, but I am enjoying it.

I am still uncertain as to how combine the art narrative and the written narrative.  One inspires the other but how to meld them into one harmonious whole?

For me, my art has always been about that frozen moment in time and how the viewer interacts with it.  I think of my pieces as a bit of time from some unknown storybook, some half-forgotten history.  The narrative in my  head doesn't have to match the narrative in that of the viewer.  In fact, I prefer it if it doesn't.

My poetry works much the same way.  Can the two be combined?  It's an ongoing process.

I also made the decision to change my  hanging work from framed prints to mounted canvas.  Now I just need to learn how to mount my own.  

Perhaps my most important goal for 2016 is to learn to be comfortable in my own skin.  I've been fighting the same extra 20 lbs for about ten years now.  I just need to accept that maybe I won't ever be a size 8 again, and that, is perfectly fine.

I ended the year by taking and posting a selfie.  I never post photos of myself as I always hate every last one of them.  I need to learn to like, even love, my reflection.  

It's my skin.  I need to learn to love it.

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