Ghosted

I offered you my heart,

plattered. You weren't hungry.

The silver was tarnished.

You bricked it in,

untasted, to your hollow chest,

bloodied and beating,

unconcerned that you

might be killing me.

I chose poorly.

Your vision was narrowed,

blindered and staring,

seeing only the inside

of your own skull.

I carved away my pound of flesh.

I could never slice off enough.

You taste nothing;

your appetite, ravenous.

Can I have my heart back now?

The buffet is closed.

Find it here.

Peeled

My reflection is worn and weary.
I check every day.
She never alters for the better.

The mirror cracks.
Alice stranded on the wrong side.
Impossible Alice,
flushed from her victory
over the Red Queen,
fresh and full of hot tea and cakes,
smoked and delicious.

I peel her apple skin,
round and round and round,
from bottom to top.

I wear her well.
She hangs a little loose.
I can make adjustments.

I left her lying there,
flayed and quiet,
cored and tasteless.

Dig the hole deep.
Six feet.  Twelve feet.
A nail through her forehead,
heart staked.

She will not grope her way out
of her grave.
She will not rise, to walk,
a zombie at rest.

I prefer my pie 
with cinnamon and nutmeg.

Find it here.

A Family Portrait without a Father

Father's Day: my Facebook feed, my radio stations, my internet news sites, have all been flooded with the trumpeting of Father's Day.

What do you do if you are raising children without a father?

I know some fathers leave by choice, some withhold their love from their children, and some are just lost.

My own children lost their father to cancer three years ago.  My oldest two, teens when he died, have a lot of memories of their father, (which isn't to say that it makes the lost somehow less, or easier to bear).

But my youngest two don't have as many memories.  They are basically growing up without a strong male influence in their lives.

I can't teach them to play baseball.  I can't teach them to change a tire on a car.  I cannot fill that gap.  

Of late, I have been binge listening to the podcast of Mark Maron.  He had comedian Joe Rogan on as a guest.  I don't know much about Rogan aside from his work on "Newradio", but Joe Rogan said something on the podcast that really resonated with me.

To paraphrase, the most interesting people he knows all had to overcome some sort of trauma or adversity in their childhood.  For him, it was an abusive father that he didn't see after the age of six.

Basically, everyone I have ever been close to had something in their childhood that left them emotionally bruised or battered.  Whether it was divorce or a dysfunctional family, none of them escaped childhood without some sort of emotional trauma.

They came out the other side damaged, but not irrevokably broken.

My boys will grow up with that same sort of adversity.  It's not a wound that I can possibly fix.  I can love them from here to the moon, but the loss of their father isn't a gap in their lives that I can fill by wearing a lot of plaid and taking them fishing.

The hearts of my beautiful boys are damaged.  They have suffered an emotional trauma that will never go away.

I can only hope that they will come out the other side of their childhood, somehow stronger, self reliant, and maybe, just maybe, a little more interesting for what they have survived.

Gather Ye Rosebuds

I've been on a bit of a photography spree of late.  As a birthday treat, I spent a day in the French Quarter photographing all the things.  I really wanted to capture a lot of the amazing residential portion of the French Quarter, but as temperatures inched up toward 90, I definitely started to lose my drive.

I agreed to meet a friend at the St Roch Market for lunch so it seemed like a perfect time for a break.  Walking toward Elysian Fields and beyond, I realized where I really should have been taking photos all day.  The houses are fantastic.  The colors are brilliant and the cottages are classic New Orleans.

I will definitely have to head back to New Orleans for another day of photography.  Hopefully, another day when I am less likely to melt.  

I spent a few hours in the Garden District a few week back.  The houses there are overwhelmingly elegant and grand.  I find I prefer the more modest shotgun cottage in all their gaudy Creole glory.

With my new embarrassingly large largess of photographs, I thought it would be fun to play with some more mixing.  

My initial thought was to take the idea of Gathering Ye Rosebuds to the nth degree and make my young girls actual rosebuds, but as the image evolved, I decided to leave my young misses with their lovely faces intact.

I tinkered with the color scheme from bright to dark.  I even tried a version without any young ladies but finally settled on my favorite.

GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.

The Magician - Louisiana Tarot

I finished the second in my new series.  I am approaching this project with much 

more of a sense of whimsy than any true mystical spirit.

Happy New Year! - TAW challenge

3Muse Challenge - Gotta Dance

My black, white, and red image ended up being a little off color.

Sigh.

I LOVE Halloween - TAW Challenge

Our challenge this week from Take a Word blogspot was Halloween.

I started with a photo that I had taken of Lafayette Cemetery in New Orleans.

I made up this piece but the more I looked at it, the more it felt like two separate pieces.

It seemed as if the two halves don't really belong together or that 

the Victorian bat girl is too far from the Halloween tomb.  

She seems so beautifully framed in the middle of the 

walkway so I hated to try to scoot her closer.

So I decided to break the first artwork into two pieces.

I left the bat girl intact in her walkway, ready to fly up and create Halloween havoc.

I added some elements to my Halloween tomb.

I went back and forth with my tomb poem, finally deciding on a quote from 

Samuel Coleridge's Kubla Khan.  It seemed suitably romantic and eerie.

Showbiz - Take a Word Challenge

This weeks challenge over at Take a Word was Showbiz.

I've always had a weakness for the original Vamp, Theda Bara.

Checking my posting list, I can't believe that it's been fifteen days since I responded to a challenged or posted.  My schedule has been unusually packed but I missed this so much.

I'm glad to have had time to fit a piece in!

Creativity is always a joy.

I wear the cheese - TAW Hot Color Challenge

I may have been re-watching the many wonderful seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

so I might have gone a little out in crazy nerd space for this particular challenge.

While cheese is generally stored at cool temperatures, the color seems sufficiently warm.

The Orphans Boys of Lafayette - Square and Circle 3Muses Challenge

The Three Muses Challenge this week was geometric - circles and squares.

I started with a photo I took in Lafayette Cemetery in the Garden District.

In New Orleans, the dead never really leave us.  We can go and visit.  

They like it when you bring them gifts.

Every time I have been to this particular tomb, someone has always left

 little presents for the orphan boys - usually some sort of plastic toys or stuffed animals.  

The day I took this image, someone had left this bright and cheerful balloon 

as well as the usual assortment of Mardi Gras beads and little toys.

I like to think that after everyone leaves for the day (the gates are locked promptly at 5 pm), 

the orphan boys come out and enjoy their new toys!

Don't Linger in the Graveyard - TAW Dark Challenge

When the sun slides behind the end of the world,

make certain that you are on the outside of the graveyard wall.

Scary things come out of the tombs as night....

Don't be alone with slithering things in the dark!

Where I Live - 3Muses Challenge

I first came to New Orleans on a weekend trip.  What I remember most on the bus trip

 into town were the cemeteries: "The Cities of the Dead"

As a child of the modern suburbs, my second impression

was of the history of the place.

The buildings and the streets of New Orleans were hundreds of years old.

Most of what I grew up with were buildings that were all less than a decade old.

Add in the music, the food, and the people,

I was in love.